The Vow
by dauntlessblackhawk
Summary: Clint and Natasha have been 'in a relationship' for almost eight months now and are driving home from an exhausting mission. At a red light, Natasha unbuckles her seatbelt to lean over and kiss Clint. At that very moment, a truck rams into their car from behind and she crashes through the windshield. (loosely based on 'The Vow' - angst?)
1. Chapter 1

******Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, have no affiliation with the Marvel Universe and whatsoever. If I did, there would already be a Clintasha movie out there (how I wish).**

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**A/N: Well, I just ended 'A Twist in Fate' and really wanted to write something Clintasha again. Then my sister told me she just watched The Vow so I watched it again. This fic is inspired by/based on that movie/book. But with Clintasha, of course :)**

**Enjoy!**

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It was just another mission accomplished, and they were driving back to their apartment in the outskirts of New York, both extremely exhausted with their adrenaline wearing off. The night was beautiful, the sky showering down raindrops that sounded like a percussion band as they hit the windows of their car. A beautiful smile had worked itself across her worn out yet still beautiful face, a smile that she only reserves for him and during intimate moments outside work. It was very late into the night and there weren't any cars on the street except theirs. Neither of them said anything, savouring the night and enjoying the silence.

Natasha was first to break the silence, 'Have you ever imagined what it would be like if we've never met?' she asked Clint as the car stopped at a red light, only a few streets away from their apartment.

'I would probably be dead,' he replied with a grin, watching her fondly. Part of what he said was true, because since the day he met her, his suicidal thoughts that had followed him since the day his parents died slowly faded away. She was his anchor, the soul reason why he was still alive. Natasha, too eager to get out of her cat suit and perfect that moment, unbuckled her seat belt and leaned in to kiss Clint. At that very moment, a truck rammed into their car from behind and she crashed through the windshield. Both of them were rushed into the emergency room, then immediately transferred to SHIELD's medical department after Coulson received signal. The pair of master assassins was kept in the same room in his order. He knew they would want to see the other when one of them awakes.

Clint was the first to regain consciousness after 48 hours. He blinked his eyes opened, squinting a little from the blinding white light on the ceiling. He had no idea where he was and what happened and frowned, when all of a sudden, memories flooded back into his head – Slovakia, rain, kiss, Natasha, crash. _Natasha_. His eyes flew open at the thought of his partner and sat up looking around for her, then loosened a breath when he saw her lying on the bed next to him. But she was connected with tubes and there were bandages all over her head, arms and body.

'Welcome back, Clint,' he heard a very familiar voice say, and whipped his head back and saw Phil, their handler, sitting on a small black couch looking very tired.

'Natasha,' he croaked out, looking at his handler, 'what happened? Is she okay?'

'Baron, you've been out for 2 days, get some rest first, I'll tell you later,' he said sighing, and then asked the nearest nurse to bring them both a cup of warm water.

'Phil,' Clint said, his voice persistent as if he was warning him. He just tiredly rubbed his eyes, 'you two are going to be the death of me.' He paused, the silence suffocating them, and then continued closing his eyes and facing the ceiling, 'you were driving home, remember? A truck ran into your car. You had your seatbelt on, but she didn't. She flew out of the windshield. You suffered some minor injuries, bruises and cuts but she has some major brain damage. She should be awake in less than 48 hours, but anything can happen. So…just… be careful, okay?' he finished, and sighed again, then left the room.

_Anything can happen. Be careful. Major brain damage. A truck. Flew out. Seat belt. Anything can happen…_

Coulson's words repeated themselves in his mind as he threw himself back down onto the bed with a thump and promptly fell asleep.

_Eight months ago: _

'Screw you, Clint Barton! Stop following me! When I tell you I need space, you better give it to me. I am not some damsel in distress and I don't need a knight in shining armour!' she screamed at him as she threw magazine that lied innocently on a coffee table beside her, he of course, expertly dodged it.

'I just wanted to help you! That bastard's hands were on you! Do you expect me to just sit back and enjoy him touching you while your eyes flashed with anger and annoyance?' He shouted back as he followed her into their small kitchen.

'Fuck you,' she growled, her hands holding the sink so hard it might break anytime, 'I wanted to drink away the shit I just went through and you just gave me more. Fuck you for ruining my fucking life, as if it isn't fucked up enough already.'

He sighed and ran a hand through his ruffled hair. They had just come back to their apartment from SHIELD base after their first failed mission. He had compromised their mission to go after her when she was captured and held hostage in their enemy's underground base. They argued, and she had stomped off telling him to leave her alone, but instead, he followed her into the nearest bar.

_How was it possible to not go after her knowing full well that she was being tortured? He knew emotions had to be kept out of missions, but surely, there had to be exceptions? _Those were what he had in mind when he decided to go after her rather than finishing their mission. When he got to her, she was chained to a wall in a dark and empty room, her head hung down, and blazing red hair forming a curtain in front of her face.

'Whoever the fuck you are, I won't give you what you want from me and you will never get it,' she growled, her voice dangerous yet downright sexy.

'Tasha,' he whispered, silently blaming himself for not having gone for her any earlier, any faster, 'Tasha, Tasha, Tasha…'

'Clint?' she called out for him, her voice small and barely audible, raising her head to meet his eyes.

'Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Tasha…' he said as he tried to break the chain off the wall. His heart ached at what he saw, Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, beat up and battered, so fragile, so brittle.

'Did you get the information?' she asked, still putting their mission before her life. He swallowed hard and shook his head. She wouldn't like it, but he would have regretted his whole life if something happened to her here while he was finishing their mission off and when he could have done something to ease her pain.

'Barton, how could you? There are something called rules out there!' she raised her voice, almost shouting but too tired to fight anymore.

'How could I leave you here, Natasha? How could I continue the job not caring that my partner,_ my partner _was somewhere being tortured?' he asked, outraged, but she just shook her head.

They got out just in time before the base was blown into pieces by a timed bomb Clint had set when he came in to get his partner out. They got back to SHIELD base by a helicopter Coulson sent, was ordered to go through stupid medical check-ups and went through an intense debrief session with Fury till they were finally allowed to go back to their apartment.

Then she started the argument. It wasn't a first. They had always argued about that topic, but that time, it was too close to home. Natasha was brutally tortured. Their missions never had gone so wrong… or at least never in Natasha's part…

'Look, Natasha, hear me out first then kill me after. I know you hate dealing with emotions, and I have for six damn long years, hid most if not all my emotions from you. I don't want to fuck this up. I don't want to lose you. But I can't go on like this anymore. I have loved you from the first second I laid eyes upon you, I just never truly realised till later on. I tried, I swear I've tried to distract myself from you, look what happened between me and Bobbi? How silly of me, to think that you would fall in love with someone like me. But I've waited all these years and no, I can't anymore. Natasha I love you okay? I don't think anyone partnering with you for this long won't fall for you. I know, yes, I know that I'm just another man, just another stupid asshole in love with you, in love with an unlovable Russian assassin. I love you and I will turn the earth over if it means I will somehow be enough for you, make the feelings mutual. But no, it will never happen. So fuck me for spilling this out to you all of a sudden,' he ended abruptly, walked out of the kitchen and she heard the door to their apartment slam shut.

She was shocked. No, shocked was an understatement. She was stunned, speechless, astonished. Did he actually just confess his love for her? Him of all people? He who knew every detail of her gushing red ledger and her dark past? Clint Barton the first ever man she trusted fully? Clint Barton the first and only man she had ever genuinely wanted and needed?

She ran after him and slammed him against the wall of the corridor, kissing him hungrily, as if their lives depended on it. It was anything but sweet and romantic, but a mixture of want, and hunger, and anger, and desperation, and the six long years of waiting. It was Clint and Natasha. It was fire and earth. It was glorious. It wasn't their first kiss, they had kissed before, as lovers, as couples, but all for covers, but this, this was them, this was Clint and Natasha, the Hawkeye and the Black Widow, partners in crime, SHIELD's best team, a couple of master assassins.

'Damn you Barton,' she hissed, panting for breath as she broke away, her lungs desperate for oxygen. His breathing was ragged too, and he had no idea what was going on in her head right now and he had no idea how to react. She just kissed him. She just kissed him!

'Nat..?' he asked, hesitantly.

'Shut up,' she said and sealed their lips together again, this time, slower, her tongue demanding entrance into his mouth and he obeyed with much pleasure. If that was what she wanted, he had nothing to prevent him from giving it to her. Their tongues intertwined, tasting each other, exploring each other, devouring each other. He moved a hand to the small of her back and the other cupped her face, deepening the kiss. They broke apart for air again, blue and green eyes blazing as they realised what had just happened.

'I guess we're both children,' she said, licking her lips, 'I do too, asshole.'

He watched her intently; still too shocked to respond, did she just admit that she too, felt the same for him in her own awkward and annoying way? Then she grinned at him, and knew he wasn't dreaming.

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**A/N: Well, wasn't that the cutest? My advice: savour this fluffy moment because this is going to get angsty. **

**Review! I've already written the next chapter, but the more responses I get, the quicker I'll post it :) I accept constructive criticism, they help me improve! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yay, I got many really nice reviews, thank you so much :) Here's chapter two! Enjoy!**

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_Last time:_

'Nat..?' he asked, hesitantly.

'Shut up,' she said and sealed their lips together again, this time, a lot slower, her tongue demanding entrance into his mouth and he obeyed with much pleasure. If that was what she wanted, he had nothing to prevent him on giving it to her. Their tongues intertwined, tasting each other, exploring each other, devouring each other. He moved a hand to the small of her back and the other cupped her face, deepening the kiss. They broke apart for air again, blue and green eyes blazing as they realised what had just happened.

'I guess we're both children,' she said, licking her lips, 'I do too, asshole.'

He watched her intently; still too shocked to respond, did she just admit that she too, felt the same for him in her own awkward and annoying way? Then she grinned at him, and knew he wasn't dreaming.

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Clint woke up two hours later and went over to Natasha's side, staring at her fragile body. It's not the first time he had seen her look so small and pale, but every time it happened, it felt as if a knife was slowly cutting through his heart. This time was no better. He picked up a magazine from the coffee table nearby, and started reading out loud to her.

Suddenly, she stirred a bit, and his eyes widened in excitement, pressing the button for a nurse immediately. Then her blazing green eyes flew open and a look of confusion swept over her face, then her emotionless mask was back and all he saw was self-defence. He was finally glad she was tied down to the bed, but really, if she wanted to fight, she could break the restraints anytime.

'Where am I?' she grunted, 'and what are you doing to me?'

'Agent Romanoff, you're in SHIELD medical department, you were in a car crash two days ago, everything is alright,' the nurse said. Clint just stared at her. _Coulson said anything can happen._

'How are you feeling?' he asked, his voice carefully toned neutrally.

'I'm fine, doctor, now get me out of here before I burn this place down. My bosses would be very proud of me.' she stated and lied back onto her bed. Her bosses… then reality hit him; she must have lost years of memory…

'Tash-'

'I'm Natalia Romanova,' she growled.

He took a deep breath and continued, 'what date is it?'

'11th November, 2007, but I was out for two days so 13th.'

'Oh God,' he whispered, and the nurse beside him just shook her head.

'Agent Barton, I think it is best for you to leave this room,' she instructed. He wanted to rebel, tell her that Natasha needed him, but she clearly had no intention of making him stay either, so he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

'Clint, anything can happen with the brain,' Coulson said the second he was out of the door.

'She can't remember a fucking thing about us anymore, Coulson! Six fucking years of me trying so hard! She doesn't even remember who the fuck I am and what the fuck SHIELD is! And now we're her enemy!' he screamed, punching the wall so hard that it cracked. Then he started sobbing, 'Phil, six damn long years of trying and I finally have her, but for only eight months, and now I've completely lost her all over again. What is going to become of me?'

'Look, we are finding a way to fix this, okay? Nobody knows what can happen with one's brain, Barton.'

'Agent Coulson, agent Barton, we've just told her the date and that she seems to have lost 8 years of her memory. We are trying to trigger some of them for her. She is in a very emotional state and can be quite – mad, sometimes,' she continued after pausing for a while, 'do be careful, and agent Barton, don't expect too much from her just yet. You're allowed to go in now.'

Clint thanked the nurse and entered the room that suddenly felt too cramped up. He had no idea what to say to her anymore.

'You're telling me I lost 8 years of memory, and that you guys are not my enemies, when the last thing I remember was being sent to kill a target in Moscow, and finishing a bottle of vodka then asking the bartender for more.' She stared blankly at the wall in front of her.

Her red hair was dishevelled, but they looked beautiful, framing her delicate face and features.

'Yes, agent, Barton was sent to kill you, but he gave you a choice and you took his offer to come back to SHIELD with him. It was your own choice. Do you remember anything about meeting him in an alley in Sofia?' Coulson enquired in his professional voice. She shook her head, her short red curls bouncing around her head.

'And look at my disgusting hair style, I never wanted to cut my hair short,' she said, and it almost made Clint chuckle, except he didn't and couldn't because it wasn't his Natasha.

'Natasha-'

'Why do you keep calling me Natasha? I'm Natalia!'

'You changed your name when you came here,' he whispered with defeat, 'I'm Clint Barton, your partner, we have been partnered since the day you decided to come back here with me.'

'I don't work well with partners,' she stated, 'and now I have a new name, how great.'

'Look, Tash- Natalia, think about it, these are all choices you made for yourself, before meeting me. You chose to leave the Red Room, you chose to stop taking freelance jobs, you chose to come here with me,' he said, his voice soft but strained, as if he was going to burst in tears any time.

Natasha was silenced by his words that bore nothing but the truth, and she chose not to comment on the hurt seeping through his voice.

'Barton, we'll do our best to trigger her memory and hopefully bring them back, soon. Romanoff, I take that you will try to cooperate and not fight us?' Coulson asked in a matter-of-fact way. The red head rolled her eyes and nodded. Clint left the room.

He couldn't do it anymore, he had been so close to losing her before, he fought so hard for her, fought so hard for a 'them', and now everything was ruined because of a truck. If that tiny bit of his conscience wasn't still there, he would have gone after that driver and put an end to him already. He basically ruined his whole fucking life.

Coulson brought in photos, recordings and letters for Natasha every day. A week passed, and she still didn't remember anything from the past 8 years of her life. Her 'partner' never came to visit her after the day she first woke up on the hospital bed. She often wondered why and where he was, but she never asked. After all, why should she care? But there was a tugging feeling in her heart that was telling her she should, and that there was more than just being 'partners' between them. Yes, he told her they were partners, but his eyes told a totally different story, as if she was his everything. Certainly it couldn't be true? She would never give herself to a man. No, not after Barnes, she thought.

On the eighth day, a blonde named Pepper went to visit her, bringing her flowers, sounding genuinely concerned and kept on asking if she was okay. She couldn't remember who she was, but she had to force smiles and keep on reassuring her 'friend', though everything screamed not okay. Pepper had brought her news articles about a team called 'The Avengers' that was formed 2 and a half years ago, and apparently, she was one of them and had helped fought off the aliens and a semi-god called Loki.

'You were really distressed when you heard from Phil that Clint was compromised, do you really not remember?' Pepper asked her sadly. Natasha shook her head and asked her what happened in New York, and she told her the whole story. At least all the parts that she was allowed to know.

The day the doctor gave her permission to leave, Pepper insisted on bringing her to Stark Tower, knowing she wouldn't want to go back to Clint and their intimate enough life. 'Is Barton going to be there?' she had asked Pepper, the blonde only shrugged and gave her a sad smile. Some part of Natasha really wanted to see him, but it really wouldn't be a surprise if he had left her already.

On the way there, Pepper kept on blabbering about how excited the team was to hear that she was going there, and mentioned so many names that she didn't even want to keep track of anymore. When they finally arrived Stark Tower in a Tony's black car, the tall and gigantic building gave her a shock. She her mouth fell agape and had to blink twice, before Pepper tugged her into the building then into a very modern elevator.

'Welcome back, agent Romanoff,' a mechanical voice suddenly said. Natasha swore in Russian from the scare, scanned their elevator then stared at Pepper, her green eyes wide with confusion and annoyance, demanding an explanation. She giggled and replied, 'that's Jarvis, Tony's very clever, all-knowing sidekick.'

Then the elevator door opened at level 22 and she heard music, screams and cheers, she smelled food and drinks, she saw balloons, banners, and a crowd. She couldn't recognise any of them, and her head felt like it was about to explode. The past few weeks had made her feel agitated about every little thing, and she really couldn't handle a huge crowd of 'friends' she didn't remember. She looked around with a frown on her face, brows furrowed, trying to concentrate and maybe trigger her memory, searching for something or someone she might remember.

Then there he was, sitting on a tall stool by the bar, holding a glass. He wasn't cheering or anything, just staring at her as if she was a ghost.

Her heart skipped a beat.

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**A/N: Well, well, well, guess who that is? I told you to savour that fluffy and cute moment from last chapter! **

**I'll try work on the next chapter, but my A Level mocks are in a week and I do need to study, so I'll try my best. I hope to see you soon?**

**And please don't forget to review! They make my day 3 **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay, I know I'm terrible for not having updated this in like almost two months and I'm really sorry but lots of things have been happening. Well, at least I still sat down and managed to finish a chapter today right? I know this is a bit short but it's all I can do for today and I didn't want to keep you all waiting.**

**Enjoy :)**

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_Last time:_

The day the doctor gave her permission to leave, Pepper insisted on bringing her to Stark Tower, knowing she wouldn't want to go back to Clint and their intimate enough life. 'Is Barton going to be there?' she had asked Pepper, the blonde only shrugged and gave her a sad smile. Some part of Natasha really wanted to see him, but it really wouldn't be a surprise if he had left her already.

On the way there, Pepper kept on blabbering about how excited the team was to hear that she was going there, and mentioned so many names that she didn't even want to keep track of anymore. When they finally arrived Stark Tower in a Tony's black car, the tall and gigantic building gave her a shock. She her mouth fell agape and had to blink twice, before Pepper tugged her into the building then into a very modern elevator.

'Welcome back, agent Romanoff,' a mechanical voice suddenly said. Natasha swore in Russian from the scare, scanned their elevator then stared at Pepper, her green eyes wide with confusion and annoyance, demanding an explanation. She giggled and replied, 'that's Jarvis, Tony's very clever, all-knowing sidekick.'

Then the elevator door opened at level 22 and she heard music, screams and cheers, she smelled food and drinks, she saw balloons, banners, and a crowd. She couldn't recognise any of them, and her head felt like it was about to explode. The past few weeks had made her feel agitated about every little thing, and she really couldn't handle a huge crowd of 'friends' she didn't remember. She looked around with a frown on her face, brows furrowed, trying to concentrate and maybe trigger her memory, searching for something or someone she might remember.

Then there he was, sitting on a tall stool by the bar, holding a glass. He wasn't cheering or anything, just staring at her as if she was a ghost.

Her heart skipped a beat.

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'Barnes,' Natasha muttered and had to calm herself down. When she fully recovered herself from the initial shock, Pepper has already left her and was leaning in for a kiss with a guy. She must have seen that man before, she thought, was it a document among the files when she was hacking the Red Room's computer system? She didn't know what to do, but just stood in front of the closed elevator, taking in the scene.

'Romanoff, welcome back,' a blonde walked towards her smiling. She recognised this man, but she couldn't figure out who he was. She probably saw him in a secured file in the Red Room or something.

'Wait, who are you? And who is that guy kissing Pepper?'

'I'm Steve, Steve Rogers, Captain America. That is Tony, Iron man, the guy with a big red suit,' he answered, attempting to put an arm around shoulder to guide her into the room. She immediately pushed him away.

'Don't touch me,' she threatened. He was obviously shocked, but quickly regained his posture, apologised and backed off.

'Well, well, well, look who's back,' a voice said from behind her. She closed her eyes and clenched her fists. 'Do you remember me, Natasha?'

'James,' she hissed in reply.

'So I see you do.'

'How are you here? Aren't you with the KGB too? Weren't we partners? Why am I here?' she asked, her voice solid and persistent, demanding answers.

'Let's get you a drink and we'll talk, shall we?' Natasha groaned and gave him a slight nod. She knew him too well and if she didn't do what he said, she would never get what she wanted. And all she wanted was the truth, why she left the Red Room, why she changed her name and everything, how she became an Avenger and just after all, what happened in the eight years.

After talking about the old times for an hour, most of the team had already left the room. There was still no sign of Clint Barton, and she was feeling a bit light headed from all the shock, so she excused herself.

'You sure you know where your room is?' he called after her. She paused in her steps and didn't reply. 'I'll take that as a no,' he said grinning, then took her by her waist and led her to her room.

'Good night James,' she said as she was closing the door.

'Night, Nat, see you tomorrow.'

Then Natasha took a deep breath and promptly threw herself face-down onto her bed. Everything was so unfamiliar and hard to take in. Nothing seemed real. How could she have possibly joined the Avengers? How could she have possibly teamed up with Hawkeye for six years? How could she have possibly switched sides from the KGB to SHIELD? Everything in her mind was like a tornado, about to sweep everything it went pass into the mess.

The next morning, she awoke with a start to knockings on her door. Her immediate reaction was to search for her weapons, but then everything flooded back to her and she opened the door and met his eyes. Clint.

'Morning Natasha, I brought you breakfast, in case you don't feel like eating with the team.'

'Thanks.'

'Um…so…is there anything else you want? Like a movie or something?'

She crooked one eyebrow in surprise, 'I'm fine.'

'Well, okay then, I'll leave you be then, um…see you around.' He replied as he slowly backed off until he hit the wall. She closed the door, pretending not to see it. She then heard a sigh from the other side of the door. She only started eating when she was sure he was gone. She wanted to ask him where he was the last few weeks, why he didn't talk to her. She wanted to know how working with him was like, and if they were really only 'partners'.

Once she finished eating, she decided to walk around the whole building, and familiarise herself with the place. She went into the lift and asked JARVIS to take her up to the highest floor where she would start her discovery. She stepped out the elevator and the first thing she heard were punches. Hard punches, every hit followed by another in perfect timing, every punch carrying the same strength as the previous ones, then the fall of a punching bag. She walked into the huge room full of punching bags and target boards, where the sound was coming from, and was immediately greeted with a grin.

'Good morning, Natasha,' he said, as he finished hanging up another punching bag and started towards her.

'Morning, James,' she answered without much emotions, feet glued to the ground.

'What can I do for you, my dear?' he asked when they were only a few inches away.

'Nothing, I just wanted to have a look around the tower,' she replied, paused for a while, then added, 'alone.'

'Natasha, you know I didn't have a choice when I left you all those years ago, right?'

'It doesn't really matter now, does it?'

'You forgave me, you understood; we were already friends! We took missions together and hung out together in Stark Tower. That's until you came back with an 8-year memory loss, of course,' he was trying hard not to raise his voice now.

'Are you blaming me for th-' but her angry words were cut off when he suddenly held her face in his palms and kissed her, slowly at first, but all his hunger poured out at once and he bit her lips, his tongue demanding entrance and she could do nothing but give in to his kiss.

That was the moment Clint chose to walk in with his bow and arrows.

Natasha saw him first and immediately broke the kiss.

'Oh, you know, it's alright, I mean sorry…um…I'll just go get a cup of coffee downstairs,' he said and quickly walked out of the room. She turned back and glared at James.

'You haven't changed a bit, dear Natasha,' he grinned again and all she wanted to do was to punch him but was quickly caught up in a kiss again. This time she broke loose from his hold, walked back to the elevator. She had no idea where to go and what to do now.

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**A/N: I hope you liked it, I think there wasn't enough angst but idk. Please review and tell me what you think?**

******And congratulations to the only one who guessed it right, skyfallat221b ;) sorry it isn't Clint guys ;)**

**I hope I get to update soon, but some major exams are coming up so I might not be able to update in months again :/ **

**Love you all x**


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